I had not had the greatest of weeks.

I had achieved much to be sure but I was exhausted and it was Thursday evening meaning that I still had one day to manage before I could break for the weekend. So there I was lying on the bed, exhausted, the weather was not that great either, trying to muster up the energy to go to my dance class that evening.

The hardest part of any class involving the use of exercise is actually getting there, especially when one has finished work for the day and is not motivated to want to do anything at all. This evening was exceptionally difficult. I was plagued with a degree of negative thoughts, not being as young or as fit as I used to be and the menopause being very unkind in that I’m now twice the size I was. These negative thoughts mixed in with the exhaustion made the motivation elusive and the indolence strong.

What got myself into gear in the end was the need to do exercise to keep my blood pressure normal. I kind of like this being alive thing and going to dance class is one of the things that I do to enable that to continue. So after much consideration, and moaning and groaning I did manage to get myself off that bed and down to the class.

Having completed the warm up with an unusual degree of apathy, the change occurred.  The event that suddenly altered my entire emotional landscape for that evening. My dance teacher brought out some sets of Isis Wings. The instant I put them on I transformed into an excited 5 year old at a children’s party. The physical energy seemed to appear as if by magick enabling me to twirl around the hall like a mash up of a chaos butterfly and the Goddess Eris on steroids.

This is the beauty of living in a chaos mandala; you never know what’s round the corner next. Just as I was feeling very low, tired and not at all good about myself, Chaos gave me wings and I learned how to fly.

Isis wings are pretty big. Too big to be able to practice in any room at home so I decided to take them with me to the Tafwyl Festival in Cardiff’s Bute Parc, hoping I would find some quiet corner where I could have a bit of a practice. So I was doing this, enjoying the music, testing out my new wings and being entirely focused on that. Unknown to me my bit of practice was being filmed and projected onto the big screens that you often see in festivals to enable everyone to see the band. I was informed that this occurred 3 times while I was busy practicing my swirling and twirling.

So I did a belly dance in front of 400 people by mistake! Like I said you never know what’s going to happen next when you live in a chaos mandala. And while I may not be as young and fit as I used to be…everyone looks fabulous in a pair of purple wings.

Hail Chaos.